|Everything is about reduced fat these days. It seems that even when you walk into a McDonald’s, they’re trying to pitch you on how a Big Mac is calorically cool.|
Well, the NL and the AL are hardly fat, but this summer, we’re keeping things cool and light!
Welcome to the AAA mini. You have mini Coopers, mini-me’s, and now mini DL. As your friendly neighborhood Commish is parked out in Shanghai again this summer, the DL has decided to run a reduced special season this summer for all you Sunday funday hoopheads who want to keep it going.
Will it be High 5 or the Original 6? As we wait to see, this weekend, on Pop’s Day no less, we begin the fat-free experience. (Again, not that the NL/AL are fat.) Our regularly scheduled programming will resume in the Fall once the Commish becomes American again.
So sit back – no, wait don’t sit back – slip on your kicks, worry not about missing anymore NBA Playoffs (what a series that was, eh?) or NFL and try this new season on for size. Think of it as losing weight for the summer in order to fit into your bikini (or speedo if you prefer).
There will only be 6 regular season games and then playoffs as per usual double-elim format. It’ll be wild and it’ll be wooly. Every team will be bouncing around as ping pong balls would. We’ll take a peek on June 24th to see if JL4 gets drafted (his workouts have impressed apparently) and before we know it, baby Samantha Liu will be dribbling basketballs instead of drool all over her papa Andre, the summer will peel away, and this will all be over as fast as an Usain Bolt 100-meter dash.
The point is, the AAA-light ought to move at the speed of light. So hang onto your headbands, b-ball is back, and these are who your shooters will be:
Tri-State War Dog: Yes, you read that right. Tri-State plus War Dog. Apparently, having a baby has crossed Andre Liu’s brain up and he’s elected to combine his team’s names to try it on for size. No, he’s not bringing in War Dogs into the AAA, but he is trying to bring in their bark. Last season, Tri-State fell apart in the playoffs leaving a bitter taste in their mouth after coming off a championship. So, in order to restore order, they’re getting rid of the old (school) and bringing in the new (name). And maybe some Kash.
This one's for you Good News Bears.
Team Al Bundy: You know how Al Bundy is a lazy no good man who just sits on his couch with his hand down his pants? Well, Al Chen ain’t that, but he is slacking off in getting us a team name and organizing the roster. We’re in the dark about everything and originally had thought he and Rob Schopen were going to have two separate teams. Wires were crossed, they are together, and thus we’re not sure if we’ll have 5 or 6 squads as a result (a 6th is trying to be born at the moment). Expect to see an Eden Chuang squirming around on this team everyone once in awhile and also a little glamour and glitz Hollywood style with the debut of Evan Jackson Leong. Action Jackson’s dope behind a camera. Check some his work out here: AROWANA FILMS. (And speaking of Hollywood, how about our boy SMC making moves in LA, hanging out with the Larry O’Brien Trophy the other night?)
Good News Bears: And speaking of Mo Cho Sung (that’s what they call him in LA), will his old squad retain the Prince? And brother Stan? They’d better. The Thomas Bros gave the Bears a real shot in the arm, legs, and rear last season and gave us a glimpse of a team on the rise. They’re still young and continuing to mature into their own, but with pieces like Rich Lee and Yohan Lee around them, one has to believe they have nowhere to go but up. And if not, they can always ask brother Cho what it felt like to hold that trophy. Tell you what, by virtue of that, the Good News Bears are closer to the most coveted basketball trophy on Earth than any other team in the league ever will be. That's a coolness factor you just can't buy.
Brooklyn Hustlas: Whether any of these guys are actually from Crooklyn is a good question. Whether they are hustlas is of no doubt. Danny Luk, who defines the word, brings in his gaggle of guys in an attempt to rectify his basketball career that always gets halted by injury. After hearing first hand from Nick Collision after the Thunder were eliminated by the Lakers in Round 1 that a human body only has a finite number of jumps or repeated motions it can do before it begins to break down, we think DL (hey, cool initials Danny) has run out of his repetitions. D, if you don’t finish this season, we may have to start calling you Danny No Luk. We think the 6 game season will suit you well. Best of – yes, yes, killing this joke to death – Luk.
Moneyball?: No, this isn’t like Who Dat? from last season’s AL. No question mark is supposed to be in the name. This is indeed a question we are proposing to Brian Zhang who is orchestrating the revival from parts of Moneyball, one of our favorite teams of all time in the DL. This is a sad situation – All Day Ray Huang is leaving the Big Apple soon for the land of sun and fun (Newport Beach to be exact) and won’t be around for most of the season. This leaves a gaping hole in our hearts as one of the prettiest jumpers we've known will be joining Hollywood (Mo Cho, you reading???), but an even bigger hole in BZ’s line-up. How will they respond? The question mark that punctuated that last question was meant to be. BZ, is your team called Moneyball and how will you replace Ray Shuttleworth? Inquring minds want to know.