|A CALL FOR HELP: You can STILL make a contribution to the fight against Colon Cancer on the website. Thank you for all those who pledged a donation for this event. The race/walk went off Sunday super successfully. I ran the 4-miles like the wind (well, my wind, which is a slow wind) in around 30 minutes. All of your support and messages helped me burn through the last mile, which was basically a slow sprint to the finish line. A real Rocky moment. My friend wishes to extend his thanks and appreciation to everyone who's keeping him in mind and for your support of his journey home. |
Thank you for your help. It's much appreciated - B
March Madness: You knew this was coming. It's March and that means only one thing. If you're looking for a pool (or more pools) to join, look no further. This year, we're going with Dream Leaguer Jeff Tu's Yahoo! hosted bracket. Please feel free to join and send onto as many folks as you like, but please make sure you and your friends are good for the $20 entry fee. (If you do not provide an email address when you sign up, your entry will not be counted. We've seen people sign up anonymously before in the past without making their email public and as a result never got in touch with them to collect the fee.) We hope to see many DL'ers in there! The top DL'er will get a special gift from us (the top DL'er, not necessarily meaning you finish 1st, 2nd, or 3rd - just the one who is currently registered to play in the DL and finishes highest amongst the entire field.)
Group Name: teanecK
Group ID#: 45495
Remember, the tourney tips off this Thursday. The sooner you enter, the better. Contact Jeff if you have any questions (like breakdown, etc.) at: email@example.com.
By: The Anti-truth
I, the Anti-truth would like to point out that there was an error - a big oversight - in the previous columns that said that the match-up featuring Harvard's Jeremy Lin and Columbia's KJ Matsui was the first ever match-up on the D1 level that pitted two players of Asian descent against one another who played significant minutes. On November 29, 2006, in Pullman, Washington, the Washington State Cougars hosted the Portland Pilots in a game that featured Derrick Low for WSU and Taishi Ito for Portland. I'm not here to brag, or to boast, but to inform. 'Cause I'm livin' in the calm before the storm. (What song was that from?)
14.5 seconds left in the Duke-UNC game on March 4, 2007.
A super-athletic Dookie frosh right-elbows the unstoppable Tar Heel sophomore and in doing so, breaks the latter’s nose.
Sung-Mo Cho has been here before.
“I wasn't trying to hurt him or anything like that. It just turned out way worse than what I intended” was the explanation from the culprit. It came after a thorough dismantling of the Duke team throughout the game. It came after the star of the game grabbed another rebound to give him a 26-17 night before being KO’ed momentarily.
It came during the heat of the battle.
In addition to dribbling, shooting, passing, and defending, another important skill to master in the game of basketball (and perhaps in all sports...expect badminton) is composure – the ability to master the heat of the moment, like a zen master.
Over the course of one basketball game, how many times have we thought about “I’m gonna hurt that S*^%* cause he did X, Y, and Z.” How many times have we wanted to unleash all the inner rage that’s been building up on any possible occasion? How many times have we wanted to just physically hurt another player?
Thank goodness here in Dreamleague we have yet to have an ugly Pacers-Pistons or Nuggets-Knicks game. And for that, I commend all the participants. But to prevent anything remotely similar from occurring in the future, I have compiled a checklist for everyone.
Here are 10 reasons (with some help from a trustworthy consultant firm who charges $5000 per hour) that you need to think about before clocking that SOB. I know you only have a split second in the heat of the battle but I also urge you to consider these before you make your move. I've sent this list to Ron Artest, but it was returned with his toe-nail clippings inside the envelope:
1. You’re representing your team: As much as you might not like your team name, even if that name implies how long you last in important moments, is an acronym that you don’t know what it stands for, or derives from totally irrelevant financial transactions that strike absolutely no fear in your opponents, DO NOT SHAME YOUR TEAM.
When angry, be the buddha.
2. There are ladies in the audience: Now only recently did we have a comprehensive article about the ladies in the audience for our games. (Most of them are here to watch the
lovers, oops, I meant ballers, not fighters. It’s a lose-lose situation – you beat up the other guy, you’ll be a jerk, you get beaten up, you’re a wimp. The odds are just not there.
3. There are nasty reporters working for Dreamleague: Do you really want your name to be at the mercy of one of these reporters? Do you feel lucky? Do ya?
4. That guy may be your teammate in the future: Just like the NBA, there is no longer a loyalty to one team and players are consistently changing in the DL. I think I just saw Cruisers playing for the Renegades the other day which really confused me. Yet here in DLNY we have an added Wall Street twist as teams constantly combine to improve. So do you really want to punch that guy at the risk of never getting passes from him in the future? Is it really worth knowing that there is this bad history between you two while you try to beat your future common enemies?
I would also like to take this moment to predict the NL Championship of Fall 2009 – the number 2 seed, Da 16 Minute M&A Invasians at Moe’s, will upset the number 1 seed, Generation Ghee Bonzai Renegades in PE, in a classic two-gamer, of course.
5. Did you think about the potential bills: Do you really want to hurt your hand or other body parts and have to face that ridiculous co-pay or potential medical bills. Even worse, I know I have two lawyers on my team. You’re playing in New York buddy. There are just as many lawyers in this city as there are rats in Tac….well, you know my point. Are you absolutely 100% sure that the person you’re about to hit is not a lawyer or does not know of one who may sue you for assault? Think about your last time at a bar talking to your friend’s friends whom you’ve just met. How many of them were in either in finance or law?
If you can't be the buddha, be Phil Jackson.
6. You might get kicked out of the league: I’m not sure if it’s in the rules but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were. Do you really want to risk not playing in the greatest Asian hoop league where you belong? Do you really want to risk not being able to go up against the best basketball-junkies from the country? (or world, if you count the Canadians as I do) Do you really want to read the fine story summaries here but then get that feeling of emptiness/disappointment as you fail to find your name anywhere, even a DNP in that grey box score at the bottom?
7. Did you think about Adam Smith and the economics of getting kicked out: Unless you were smart enough and worked out a refund policy with your team captain or have a tremendous sponsor, it’s a sunk cost if you don’t play.
8. Did you think about why you’re consistently getting burned or out-jumped by that guy throughout the game? It’s a very simple answer. Your opponent is one of the following: a) In high school (I know at least one person of high school age to have played in a DLNY game, do you know?) b) In college or c) Just graduated from college and moved into the Big Apple not knowing any better. In other words, they’re indestructible and pain-free; they’re in the T-1000 stage of their lives. But you should also know that these kids are innocent (as in the case of (a)), so do you really want to punch that high school kid and in doing so, hurt his chances of asking the prettiest girl to the prom due to his lost tooth or black eye? As for scenarios b) and c), I beg you to think back to college. Think back to those glory days when you could play for 5 hours at the pick-up courts without stretching and still feel like king. You know very well that life only goes one way from there. DOWN. So please, don’t punch him, let their future (or current) bosses be the bad guy who dishes out the mental (and perhaps in some severe cases, physical) abuses to them. You just play the role of the mature, wise professional that people look up to.
Heck, even be C-Webb if ya must.
9. Did you think about why that guy trash-talked you throughout the game? Once again, it’s a very simple answer. Your opponent is a father who has to teach his kids important things such as morals, etiquette, reading, tying shoes laces, and dribble. He talks all day long, explaining his notion of life to his kids. Do you really want that guy to go home with a black eye? Think about the most important part of any dad’s day – that moment right before his kids go to sleep and he tells the story of how he scored the winning shot or slayed the dragon in a fantasy land while his little ones try to sleep. Think about how those kids are not going to fall asleep seeing that big black eye on their hero’s face. Think about how traumatized they’ll be. Please, think of the kids.
10. Do you have time-outs left? If so, take yourself out. If not, do a Chris Webber. In the heat of the battle, the greatest man is the one who can remain calm and composed and see through all the emotions on the court. Please, be smart, burn a time out and sub a teammate in for you. While in the time out huddle, crack a joke or something. A “Yo Mamma” joke on one of your close teammates would actually be the greatest play you can call because no matter what you say about his mamma’s back during this moment, you know he’s still got your back until the game ends. This can greatly defuse the tension and cool you down like the currently freezing New York weather.
Now as you can see there are only ten suggestions. If you exhaust the list and decide that you still must resort to violence then here are the steps that I’d recommend you do.
If you must battle, it's okay to still Facebook that person, but refrain from this.
1) Go to the scorer’s table. Find the commissioner (if he’s not there, he’s probably taking pictures on the baseline, or ask one of the handsomely-looking DL volunteers) and say, “It’s been great, I’ve enjoyed this league a lot. However, I can no longer tolerate the situation and must use physical means to make my point.” Then tell your team captain to let him know of the situation. Perhaps apologize ahead of time for your actions because you will be dishonoring your team and shake all your teammates’ hands. (or man-hugs, either one is acceptable) Trust me, you don’t want to burn your bridges now, not in the tight-knit Asian-American basketball community.
2) Approach the future victim and ask to speak to him first. While maintaining eye contact at all time, say “bro, (cause we’re all Asian) I’m sorry but I did not agree with your actions throughout the game up to this point. I thought about this long and hard and the only solution that I can think of is pulling a Carmelo cheap-shot. I hope you and I can be friends in the future. Perhaps I can add you to my list of friends on Facebook after this incident?”
In all honesty, basketball players were not designed to be boxers as this video proves and the other NBA brawls over the years have demonstrated. It’s inevitable that Dreamleague, with all the awesome players and teams, will have intense and heated moments. But please, consider all the aforementioned things before taking things into your own hands.
For the kids...