|It’s come to my attention that more than just a few ladies visit these pages to read what’s going on in the DL.|
Usually, it’s their boyfriend telling them, “Babe, check out this photo of me! Don’t I look good?” Sometimes, it’s to point out his stats. And still other times, it’s because something will be written about the female friend (such as when Joe Bimmerle’s now-fiancé was featured in a series about And None last season or when Jill Sanders was likened to Eva Longoria as Felix Shen was to Tony Parker.)
Well, with it being Valentine’s Day and all, I’m just going to come right out and write this one specifically for the special someones in your lives, fellas.
Remember, regardless of this column, you ought to be treating her with dignity and respect. If a dispute breaks out over some of things I’m about to say, we are not liable for any of it. But if you want to talk to me about any issues, I’ll be more than happy to field any questions (this goes for you too ladies), if you email me at: email@example.com.
What kind of basketball babe do you have in your lives? Or more appropriately, if you are a female reading this, what kind of basketball babe are you?
Call these generalisms, call these accurate, call these moronic, call them what you will. But ladies, your man knows what I’m talking about when I ask:
Girls, what kind are you?
Are you a bodacious basketball babe?
If you are, you might be the Monica in Quincy’s (no, not Tso) life as Sanaa Lathan was to Omar Epps in the 2000 movie Love & Basketball. Maybe you play one-on-one with your man. (And I actually mean basketball on the court.) Maybe you coach him from the sidelines at a game, offering him pointers or notice that his form is a little whack. Maybe you function as his personal assistant at games, showing up tirelessly and taking pictures of him, massaging his back before and after the game, rubbing his feet, carrying his game bag for him, handing him a drink during time-outs, or pulling the car around so when he leaves the gym, it’s right there for him to hop into and go.
If you’re this kind of gal, your playa playa better be spending at least $300-400 on a dinner date this Wednesday for you guys. And there better be chocolates, flowers, and an iPod Nano involved as gifts.
Are you the loving and supportive, but sometimes aloof kind of gal?
Maybe you come to about 80% of your boy’s games. You’re always on the sidelines, sitting quietly by yourself, just watching and observing the way your fella moves on the court. You enjoy watching the game and you enjoy watching him work. Win or lose, you’re behind your guy and know that he appreciates you coming all the way out regularly to support him (I hope you know that.) Sometimes you stare off into space, or will actually pull out a book to read, but your mere presence is assurance enough that he has found the right girl, someone who takes a genuine interest in everything he does. If basketball is the only thing he does…uh, well, hopefully you’re introducing him to different things to open his mind. And you probably are. Cause no healthy relationship can survive on basketball alone unless you’re the bodacious type.
I’m the I come with a bunch of other girlfriends type of women.
You don’t like to sit on the sidelines in silence. You come to the game with a group of gals. Usually they are other player’s girlfriends, but sometimes they are single gals who are just out to scope the action and perhaps see a cutie around the way. (Who doesn’t like athletic guys after all?) You spend 90% of the game talking with your gal-pals, pretty disinterested in the game. The game is more a social event for you to come to and gossip about recent events and who’s creepin’ on whom in your social scene. At the start of the game, you might clap and hoot and holler a couple times at your boy’s team, and maybe if it’s an intense game at the end, you’ll pay attention, but in the in between time, a 360 sky-walkin sick dunk could have happened twice and you’ll not have known it ever did. Priscilla’s perm is more interesting.
I come, but only because he wants me to. I could really care less.
This isn’t the most romantic attitude, but at least you make an effort. It’s likely you come because Mr. Sweetheart has promised to go to Serendipity after the game for frozen hot chocolate. Or you might be so bored at home that anything, including going to a game, beats the alternative. You look like you might fall asleep, or in fact, are sleeping while in the stands. I’m not sure if it’s better to stay at home than to be this type of gal. Imagine your guy coming to watch your fashion show (if you’re say a designer), and him spending more time at the bar than by the runway checking out your stuff. Refraining from coming may be okay. Just act like you have too much to do and just come every once in awhile so he thinks you really care. You might be bored at home, but you could be, say, surfin’ the net, and reading stuff like this article!
Ballers need love too.
My guy loves ball and that’s cool, but I’m not into watching him.
This is a dangerous person to be. I could create a whole new category called “My guy loves ball and that’s cool, but he won’t let me come to watch” (this group includes the guys who think their gal being around causes him to play bad and thus his team to lose which I think is bogus), but this attitude, while seemingly innocuous, could add up over time to be something he uses against you when a fight breaks out. “You never care about watching me do my things. Where is the support? Where is the love?” Okay ladies, this is a pretty lame argument on his part cause we all know that outside of maybe his mother on a really good day, no one wants to watch him play basketball. It’s not like he’s Michael Jordan, but tread carefully. Showing up every once in awhile to put in some face time and support goes a long way in his mind. It shows you’re willing to go to something so trivial to support him. It makes him look good in front of his friends that he’s got a loving girlfriend (but don’t be the gal who looks like she’s bored to death). He may not say it, but he appreciates it. If he forbids you from coming to a game cause he believes you’re bad luck, if you guys are eventually to get married, you may want to tell him not to come to your wedding cause you think the same thing.
My boyfriend plays basketball?
I’m no relationship expert, but this might be a sign that you and your dude have some communication issues. If every Wednesday or Thursday he’s running out to “do something” you have no clue about, nor care to know about, chances are good that this Valentine’s Day, you’re not getting anything. Sorry to burst your bubble.
So there you have it, girls. Which basketball babe are you?
Are things good, or is a shake up in order? To a baller, ball is the most important thing in life (after you of course), so if you’re going to be his girl all the way, ball probably should be something important to you as well. Not in a sick and perverse way like it is to him (and certainly to me), but in some sort of genuine, adapted way if need be. Surprise him with tickets to a game when his favorite team comes to town. Read these pages on your own time to check out his stats or stories and watch his mouth drop as you say to him, “Good game honey. 4 steals? That’s pretty impressive.”
Doing the little things as it relates to ball will ensure a successful loving and well-balanced relationship.
It’s all about give and take and I don’t not expect him to carry his weight either. But that advice will come at a later time, in another column perhaps.
It’s Valentine’s Day, so go out and celebrate your love. Embrace the day for what it’s worth and then embrace your baller boyfriend and hopefully he’s not taking you for granted.
If he has a game on Valentine’s night and goes to play in that however, you have the right to be angry with him, but remember, I have nothing to do with the scheduling, so save all venomous emails in regards to that for: firstname.lastname@example.org.